We are forced to stand tall when we feel as if we are standing before huge audience, sweating under a big, bright bulb, or being inspected by the drill sergeant at a parade. We are forced to smile through it all, as if we are transfixed in a Crest commercial. The world expects us to act as if we have just won the lottery when indeed it seems at that moment as if our world as we know it had indeed to come to an end. The world expects us to put on this stellar performance and pretend as if we are not breaking up into million pieces inside or that our insides dont feel sore or raw from whatever turmoil we may be going through. There are times in our lives when we are suffering, in pain or grieving and the world looks at us and expects us, in our most vulnerable moment to be stoic or strong. It has its purpose! I am telling you, JESUS WEPT! It must be a good thing! Dont you think? Cry if you must my friend! CRY! I know that you have heard all of the old adages that were meant as sources of comfort, they are good, but dont get me wrong, crying also helps.
Jesus cried, so therefore nothing is wrong with crying. Jesus Wept! Are you hearing what I am telling you? He Wept! You have always told me that you try to be Christ-like, so be Christ-like and cry. This is the same man who rose from the dead. This is the same Jesus who died on cross for us. This is the same man who cast out demons and walked on the sea. This is the same man who made the blind see and raised the dead. This is the same man who turned water into wine. He was the closest thing to perfection, yet when he heard of his friend Lazarus death, he WEPT! This is the Son of God we are talking about. You feel, dont you? If Jesus Christ the Son of God could break down and cry, then who are you to pretend to be greater than Christ? Are you greater than Christ? He was omnipotent. Werent you created with tear glands? What do you think that they are there for? Go straight ahead and cry. If you want to leave, go home and curl up in bed and cry, CRY! Nothing is wrong with crying. If you need to curl up in a ball on my floor and cry, CRY! If you need to stand in the shower for hours and cry, CRY! If you need to cry for days or years to come, I will tell you to go right ahead and CRY. I will ask however that you dont keep your feelings bottled up because it will not do you any good. I cant tell you that I know exactly what you are feeling because I am not you, but I could try to understand. It doesnt make sense to have all these feelings bottled or pent up inside, that I do know. There is absolutely nothing wrong with crying. Holding his shoulders, I slowly moved away from his chest, looked him square in the eye and shook my head reassuringly, I wasnt going to ask you to be strong. I said in a calming tone. I looked at him and when I could no longer stand to see him in such torment, I reached over hugged him and no sooner had the first syllable come out of my mouth, trembling, he pleaded, Tryce, please, please, dont tell me to be strong! If I hear that one more time, I will go crazy, so if thats what you are going to say, please dont say it? Do you have any idea how I am feeling right now? Be quiet if you must! Tell or ask me anything but just dont ask me to be strong! He then began twitching his fingers and shaking his legs nervously, as if that was supposed to ease or stop the pain that was gnawing away at him. He bit fiercely into his lower lip, as if trying to fight back each and every single tear.
As he sat with a forced a smile, tears streamed down his face, one after the other and his nose was running. Upon his return, we continued the game with a few awkward laughs here and there.
In what seemed to be a milli-second he leapt from the chair and went to the bathroom in order to compose himself. In the middle of the game, he broke down and began sobbing. We sat, chatted, watched the news and played a little Scrabble. A very close friend of mine from Zimbabwe visited my house a few days ago, after having returned from burying his twin brother.
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